Mother-in-law

What a rough night for my dear husband. He's feeling bad about not spending enough time with his mom since she got sick at the beginning of this year. She's in her mid 70s. The only reason she retired was because she almost died from overwork.

My husband is the youngest of three. His sister is first born and does most of the home care. It's easier for her because she doesn't work because she has fibromyalgia. I think this is the hardest she's worked in over a decade. I'm glad she's putting in the work. His brother is the first born son. Way is this important? Well, in a Japanese family they have filial piety. First born son gets everything and has to take care of the parents. He's gotten everything. He's 49 and still lives at home. He gets to travel. We buy his cars for him. So now he gets to take care of mom. Neither DHs siblings have ever married nor had children.

DH is the baby of the family. His mom told me once that they only wanted two kids. And that his birth was a painful dry birth. I think she let him know that. His dad died when he was twelve. So, mom went to work and siblings were left in charge. I don't think they ever gave him a break.

When I met him we were both in
The same Air Force Reserve unit. He had the guts to come to my workplace at the mall and get to know me. We became quick friends. As a friend I wanted what was best for him. I took him away from his family. We eventually started dating and then eventually came the children, full time jobs, the mortgage and many of the other things life throws at you.

So, here we are to today. Three days before Christmas and he goes to see how his mom is. I think he got bombarded with all the problems his family are having with taking care of an aging parent. I think he feels a lot of guilt. His sister feels trapped. His brother is getting closer to finally having to rely on himself and it scares the crap out of him. Mom just wants to have everyone leave her alone so she can die. Whew. So much pressure. Now we are going to step it up and give sister a break. She needs to gets real job. Brother needs to make arrangements for his future. My hubby needs to be proud of all he's accomplished in spite of them.

Wow. That was a lot. I need to give my man a hug. Night.